Skip to main content

The Last Night That I Nursed My Son

It’s been a journey of 683 days. I knew this day was coming, but it still feels so bittersweet now that it is here. The first time that I nursed my son, it was just minutes after he was born. And now the last night that I nursed my son has come and gone.

Although he was born by a scheduled c-section and came into this world screaming, the nurse placed him on my chest for some skin-to-skin contact and our bond began. As soon as I was returned to my hospital room, I attempted nursing him and he latched just perfected. Even the nurses were impressed with how smoothly our breastfeeding journey began. "This must not be your first," they said, and I smiled and I nodded.

I nursed Maya until the night before she left for a trip to Guatemala with my husband, when she was 22-months-old. That was also a bittersweet night, but since I knew I wouldn't be nursing her when she got home two weeks later, it felt so finite and I was ready. However the second time around, there was no impending international travel to sever our breastfeeding relationship. They say one day you will carry your child on your hip them set them down and never pick them up that way again. (The Last Time) The thing is, you won't even know it's the last time until there are no more times.





From the first time that I nursed you just minutes after you were born, to the last night that I nursed you just a few days ago. Those moments snuggled with you in my dark room, Brahms' Lullaby medley on repeat in the background, were some of the sweetest memories I have of the past two years of our lives together.

And now, tonight is the first night that I hold you and rock you and sing you to sleep instead, because I offered to console your sleepy tears with “do do” and you said no. I had vowed to breastfeed you for as long as was good for both if us, and I’m proud to have made it this far. I love watching you grow and develop every day, but it’s still hard saying goodbye to my baby boy!

-At the end of the day, you’re another day older.-
-The days are long but the years are short.-
-I’ll like you forever, I’ll love you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be.-

Comments

  1. Jed54April 19, 2021 at 5:12 AM

    Well stated and I too remember that last moment of this unique bonding experience only shared by those who breastfed. A tear shed and another developmental milestone ahead to appreciate....

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Is 5 Little Monkeys Racist?

I’ve seen a lot of Tik Toks debunking children’s nursery rhymes lately. I have two toddlers, so now whenever I hear one of those rhymes, I think about their unsavory origins. But my son loves, loves Five Little Monkeys. He’s just learning to talk, and can almost say it by himself. I’ve thought about telling him to stop singing it since I learned in the original lyrics it’s not monkeys jumping on the bed, but he just gets so much joy from singing it as he jumps up and falls down, I thought... no harm, no foul, right? As long as he thinks the song is about monkeys, it’s ok.  Until my niece came over one day, and the three toddlers were playing on an old mattress we have on the living room floor for them to jump around on. My son asked me to sing 5 Little Monkeys. At first it was cute, because they literally were jumping on the bed, but then I took a good look at the three of them.  My kids are half-Guatemalan but very fair, like I am. Whereas my niece is half-black, and her ski...
2 comments
Read more

Why You Should Travel with Little Kids

I took my first cross-country road trip when I was six-weeks-old. My parents loaded me up in an old Ford Wagoneer and drove me home from my dad's hometown of Pittsburgh, PA, to my hometown of Ojai, CA. After that, we traveled back and forth between the East Coast and the West Coast every summer of my life. A few times we flew, but most years we loaded up the car with the suitcases, the dogs, and the children and drove 3,000 miles across the country. This early exposure to travel instilled within me a joy of seeing the world, and since that first trip I have visited 34 states and 14 countries. And I hope to share that same joy with my own little ones. Traveling with children can be hard--it disrupts their nap schedules, may involve crossing timelines, and definitely pushes everyone beyond their comfort zones. But seeing different countries and different parts of our country as children gives them a greater appreciation for cultural and regional differences, and it widens their exper...
11 comments
Read more

Toddler Morning Schedule in Spanish

Do you struggle to get your toddlers ready and out of the house on time in the morning? The past few morning in the Barrios house have been absolutely terrible. Maya usually wakes up early with me, but I let Mateo sleep until the last possible moment before we need to wake him up to get to school and work on time. This worked for a while, but this week we have left the house in tears.  Since this is the kids' first year apart during the day, they miss each other so much. They want to play with each other in the mornings instead of getting ready, so I tried to think of a way to keep all of us on track.  In order to help build their independence and organizational skills, I came up with a morning schedule for us to follow, with words and images. Then I placed a Maya copy and a Mateo copy in a clear dry-erase pocket and hung it in a central place by the kitchen. Now the kids know exactly what they need to do  in order to get time to play with each other before school each mo...
1 comment
Read more